A Womanist Mommi's POV

Let's be real, the primary concerns of the average black woman are not that
closely aligned with those of white women.

Black mothers fear for their sons who, if current statistics prove true, have a higher chance of ending up in jail than in college -- or of being victims of violence.

Black mothers wonder if their daughters will marry or have children, now that black women have the lowest marriage rates in the country and, if they are professional
black women, also the lowest birth rates.

Black men have the highest level of unemployment in the country.

And black women are contracting HIV at unprecedented rates.

With so many pressing issues bearing down on our communities, is it any wonder why gender has yet to trump race?

Marjorie Valbrun wrote these words in her article for http://www.theroot.com/ in regards to the Hillary/Barack competition for the Democratic nomination for President.

I couldn't have said it better myself. A resounding "Amen" I heard in my head as I read this article. It's the same resounding "Amen" I heard in my head when I read the Alice Walker definition of womanist (womanism) in regards to a black woman's feminism. It's the same amen I heard in my head when I read Nat Irvin's definition of Thrivals. It's the same resounding Amen I hear in my heart when I see the "Yes We Can" video. It's the same resounding Amen I hear to the beat of Jill Scott's "I Keep" or Common's "Be."

Those Amen's and How do I's go hand in hand in my life. How do I balance my income to live within my means, save, create generational wealth, and be philanthropic now? How do I raise my children to be multicultural, yet hold on to important cultural specific traditions? How do I walk my own journey of growth, while teaching them growth? How do I balance a career and entrepreneurial pursuit. How do I remain hopeful in the face of hopelessness? How do I continue to live and love with an open heart and protect myself, my children from the heartbreaks of life?

I can truly say that the differences of my experience as a Black mother are rooted in my conscious way of life. I am conscious that the choices I make for myself and my family affect the larger Black community. So those choices are made with a little more thought.

I can't say that I make all of the right decisions. But, I can say that there is thought - sometimes too much - in every decision that I make. And, all I can pray is that the good decisions affect all of the Black Mommi's, fathers, children and families in a way that elevates a people.

This Woman's Work!

India.Arie's Acoustic Soul plays in the background as I type this entry. Her soundtrack reminds me "why I do it all." Not that I feel that I am doing any of it well because of all that I choose to do as a - mother, wife in a struggling marriage, daughter, role model, transitional woman . However, I come to you today with a renewed sense of vision and purpose for my life's work - Being Family media.


I started this blog with the intention of creating a space to share my thoughts, feelings, ambitions, frustrations as an african american woman and mother. Giving voice to my specifics, I hoped would inspire others to take a clsoer into their own and ultimately create the beginnings of a universal voice told for the women living it, by the women living it. And, although it's been difficult to do this through all that goes on, I am committed to it.


This Saturday morning, I sit in my bed writing, while my two little ones take in some TV and my husband does whatever his Saturday morning calls him to do.


I am able to get today's entry done because I have said no to taking the kids to see Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. But, not before I checked the movie times to see if we could squeeze it in before Gabbi's 2p basketball game. Believe me, negotiation were fierce between me and a determined 8 1/2 year old.


"Gabbi, the movie startst a 12:20. We won't be able to make it to the game on time."
"Well can we go tomorrow?"
"No, we can't go tomorrow because we have the Peace Celebration (a annual school program honoring the idea of peace - big and small) at 3p and that's too much to do in one day."
"Well can we go next weekend?"
"Yes."
"Can Jarrid and Laci (my niece and nephew) come with us?"
"I don't know about that." (I'm thinking: I don't even want to begin thinking about the logistics involved - the 45 minute drive - and energy involved to host a sleep over).



She's not completely ready to let it go. But she sees that I am standing my ground and backs off.

The negotiation was so worth it though. My weekend can now include the me time that was intended when I started planning it last weekend amidst the overcommitted family time of the past two weekends. I can finally enjoy "my" weekend, which will consist of an entrepreneur meeting after the 2p basketball game. Then some solitude time - provided by daddy-duty to keep them occupied to bedtime and through tomorrow morning. We'll all go to the Peace Celebration - if Daddy doesn't find a reason to back out. And, then onto the Sunday evening befroe the work week grind.


One could look at that my weekend actvity list and see that there is still quite packed. But, there is a difference in this schedule and the one it could have been. There is actually time that's not all about everyone but me.



This new resolve for my time is important to find fulfillment in this woman's work.

I challenge you to do a little rearranging this week too. See how much you can move out of the way to find time do do whatever you want.


Maybe then we can all find time to formulate thoughts and opnions on the many things - world issues and community issues, recession, politics - happening around us, affecting us. But, we don't have to to affect them.


Let's take time to plug in, weigh in, be in.


Can I get a witness?